Hey everybody (or empty cyber space seeing as this is my first post). I mainly started a blog to let out some feelings that are too big for a facebook status update box to hold. Last night, I couldn’t sleep so I was rummaging through my closet. This is always an adventure because you never know what could be hiding in there. I found a power strip, a box full of ribbons from pretty much every event I was ever in, and a DVD. I wasn’t in the mood to look through participation ribbons (I am probably being a little sarcastic here) and, although handy with electronics, a power strip is not itself very entertaining. I pulled out the DVD to see what it was and it was the high school musical from my senior year, Rock Around the Clock. This was the last musical my choir teacher directed before she retired, and my entire class decided to join the musical to say good-bye. I am from a small country town chalk full of interesting characters (on a normal day) and I played the lead in this play, so this DVD had some serious entertainment potential. As I was watching my fellow classmates and other people I went to high school with sing and act out the play, I was thinking about how different life seemed back then and how much it had changed. I remember standing on that stage thinking how much I would miss high school, I hope I don’t trip, or man, I am really getting hungry…maybe I should talk faster. My senior year was definitely the best of my high school career. I had some great and some tragic things happen, but I honestly was one of the few that weren’t quite ready to leave. Life doesn’t really work on your time schedule though, it will go on without you whether you are ready or not. Now looking back on it, I realize that my dreams and my potential were bigger than what I could’ve done in that town or what I accomplished that year. I remember thinking certain things were just huge, like I would never get over how great they were or how awful they were. Now, those same things are so small I don’t know why I even noticed them in the first place. All the drama that went on between people in high school might’ve left a mark, but it was a mark that was faded deep in the background that you really had to squint to see. College gave me a whole new perspective on life and relationships. Despite this, I still laughed when the class clown sauntered on stage (all 6’3” of him) singing and saying words like “perpetual motion”. I still to this day wonder if he knew what that was…..probably not, but we loved him anyway. Things looked different to me, but people did too. I looked back on people that I know are going after their dreams now, but also the ones you thought would make it but somehow got lost and haven’t found themselves yet. Sometimes I wonder if people think of me that way. There is one person in that DVD that really scattered my thoughts for a good thirty minutes. That’s pretty normal for me. Especially, when I have a homework assignment due, and I haven’t checked my facebook all day (gasp, I know it is really serious). This was different though. There was a girl in the play that year that got into a really horrible accident that same summer. She was a star athlete with a bright future ahead of her. The accident caused her to lose part of her right arm and, even though she is making miraculous progress in therapy because she is a very strong person, it rearranged that future. It’s funny how we complain about all the stuff we didn’t get to do and sit around wondering what we could’ve been if we would’ve just done this differently. What good does that do exactly? Believe me, I do it all the time. I worry and I sit and complain, but really deep down I know it doesn’t do anything. You can’t live in the past, and you’ve got to do something if you want a different future for yourself. There is your words of wisdom from me for the day. Also, if you want to see how much you have changed, or others, go find some old pictures or home movies. Even if you don’t notice anything at first or it’s just a video of you smashing cake in your face, it is guaranteed to make you smile or keep you occupied for a while.
